Pregnancy Counseling Questions
“What will my baby think of me if I choose adoption” is a common question that adoption agency counselors hear from women facing an unplanned pregnancy. It is a frightening and upsetting thought to wonder if your child will be angry with you. Any mother considering adoption is clearly one who loves her child and wants them to have a life of happiness and love, so this worry makes sense.
In past generations, adoption was considered something that should be kept secret. It was not talked about, children were not told their own life story and parents hid information about their adoption experience from as many people as they could. In this generation of adoption, however, adoptive parents are trained and educated about the importance of being open with children about their adoption stories. Adoptive parents in this day and age warmly embrace the opportunity to tell children that they were loved by the parents who brought them into the world. Adopted children of this generation have “life books” that tell their adoption story with photos of birth parents (when available), the hospital where they were born and many other important parts of their adoption story. Adoption language is used early and easily with adopted children so they feel comfortable and confident with who they are and where they came from. Even if your circumstance is complicated or your pregnancy story has parts that you are not proud of, adoptive parents are able to focus on the positive parts of the story when they talk with the child.
If you choose an adoption plan, you will also have the opportunity to ask the adoptive parents how they plan to talk to the child about adoption and what they plan to tell the child about you. You can make arrangements to send the child letters that explain exactly how you feel about them and what kind of life you want for them.
When your child is given all of this information from an early age is it likely going to lead to a happy and secure understanding of where they came from and who they are. So, the answer to this question is “they will think that you loved them and did a great job as a parent to plan this life for them” more times than not!
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